Parenting Three Year Olds

Five teachers with a combined 90 years of experience share advice for parents of 2- to 5-year-olds. Finding the Best from Your Kid I fear that my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At school she cleans her toys up, puts on her shoes, and is completely self indulgent at potty time. In the home, she whines whenever I ask her to pick up anything, insists I join her in the restroom whenever she must go, and lately has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Clearly, her teacher understands something I don't. But , what parent hasn't occasionally wondered: Why is my child better for everyone else than for me personally? The simple answer: Your kid tests her limits with you since she trusts you will love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean you can't borrow a few strategies from the preschool instructors ' playbook to get the best from the little one. We requested teachers from around the country for their hints so listen up -- and take notes! .

Don't wait discipline

If you must reprimand your child, do this when you see her misbehaving, advises Buss. Sometimes I will hear parents say, 'Wait until we get home...,' but at the time you're house, your kid has forgotten the incident. Likewise, canceling Saturday's zoo excursion due to Thursday's tantrum won't stop future outbursts; it'll only feel like random, undeserved punishment for your child.

Encourage teamwork.

If your kid is fighting over a toy with a different child, set a timer for five minutes, suggests Buss. Inform 1 child he can have the toy until he hears the buzzer, and then it will be the other kid 's turn.

Expect more.

Most of us have a way of living up (or down) to expectations -- preschoolers included. At college we expect the children to pour their own water at snack, to throw away their plates, to hang their jackets -- and they do, says Jennifer Zebooker, a teacher at the 92nd Street Y Nursery School, in New York City. But they then 'll walk out of the classroom along with the thumb moves in the mouth and they climb into strollers. Lift the bar and your child will likely stretch to meet it.

Enable them to solve straightforward issues.

If you see that your child trying to assemble a toy or receive a book from a shelf which she can reach if she stands on her stepstool, pause before racing around to help. Provided that they are secure, these moments when you overlook 't rush into, when you give kids a minute to solve things for themselves, those are the character-building minutes, says Zebooker. It's natural to desire to create everything perfect, but if we do, we cheat children of the opportunity to experience success.

Avoid good-bye meltdowns

If your child is worried about spending time apart, give him something tangible to remind him of you. Let him take your image; kiss a tissue or cut out a paper core and put it in his pocket. Having something physical to touch may help him feel less anxious -- and short-circuit a tantrum.

Prioritize play.

Preschool teachers stated over and over that children today are less able to perform imaginatively than children of a decade or two past. Too much of the day is structured in supervised activities, says Haines. The antidote: Obtain comfortable stating Go playwith. It's not your job to understand that your child is amused 24/7. Let her get a little bored. But be sure she has items like dress-up clothes, paint and paper, a big cardboard box, and play dough.